un·pop·u·lar [uhn-pop-yuh-ler]-adjective
1. not popular; disliked or ignored by the public or by persons generally.
2. in disfavor with a particular person or group of persons.
—Related forms
Dictionary.com Unabridged Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2011
This weekend I was reading with my four year old niece. We were talking about different jobs people have and what those people do. I asked her what a doctor does and she said "They give me shots in my legs". I asked her what the police do and she said "Be mean". Her perspective on the world is always intriguing to me because it's just so pure. To her, doctors don't make you better and the police do not protect you. She only knows how these people have directly impacted her small, short life.
Lately, I've felt a bit isolated at my school. My ideas have not always been well-received by my colleagues and I've been feeling kind of, well... unpopular. Most times, when I push a certain initiative in my school it's because I have a certain long-range "vision". Sometimes it's for my students in my school, but sometimes it's for public education in general. Regardless, my co-workers, like my niece, only see how these ideas and projects impact their own small, short lives. Another deadline, another item on a to-do list, another person who doesn't "get" how much work they have. They don't like me pushing their boundaries and expecting more for a higher purpose. They want me to leave them alone in their little bubbles. This has happened to me before. It happened as an undergrad during group projects when I refused to use an Internet-ready project as-is instead of creating something that came from my heart. It happened when I was a classroom teacher, young and green among more experienced teachers. It's happening now, as I work as a resource teacher in a school where most of the staff have worked since it opened its doors in 1984. I'm a generally likable person in my personal life. I have a decent sense of humor. I'm knowledgeable enough about the things I have to be and humble enough to learn the things I don't know. I care deeply about my students and the success of my school. So why am I the outcast? The truth is, I don't know exactly. I have my suspicions, but I can't pinpoint the exact issue. If my co-workers and I were listed as "in a relationship" on Facebook, we would be described "It's complicated". It wasn't until I took an educational philosophy course a few years ago that Maxine Greene put a name to my lack of popularity. As a poet and an admirer of the arts, she articulates the idea much better, calling it "wide-awakeness". As Greene says,
un·pop·u·lar·i·ty, noun
un·pop·u·lar·ly, adverb
This weekend I was reading with my four year old niece. We were talking about different jobs people have and what those people do. I asked her what a doctor does and she said "They give me shots in my legs". I asked her what the police do and she said "Be mean". Her perspective on the world is always intriguing to me because it's just so pure. To her, doctors don't make you better and the police do not protect you. She only knows how these people have directly impacted her small, short life.
Lately, I've felt a bit isolated at my school. My ideas have not always been well-received by my colleagues and I've been feeling kind of, well... unpopular. Most times, when I push a certain initiative in my school it's because I have a certain long-range "vision". Sometimes it's for my students in my school, but sometimes it's for public education in general. Regardless, my co-workers, like my niece, only see how these ideas and projects impact their own small, short lives. Another deadline, another item on a to-do list, another person who doesn't "get" how much work they have. They don't like me pushing their boundaries and expecting more for a higher purpose. They want me to leave them alone in their little bubbles. This has happened to me before. It happened as an undergrad during group projects when I refused to use an Internet-ready project as-is instead of creating something that came from my heart. It happened when I was a classroom teacher, young and green among more experienced teachers. It's happening now, as I work as a resource teacher in a school where most of the staff have worked since it opened its doors in 1984. I'm a generally likable person in my personal life. I have a decent sense of humor. I'm knowledgeable enough about the things I have to be and humble enough to learn the things I don't know. I care deeply about my students and the success of my school. So why am I the outcast? The truth is, I don't know exactly. I have my suspicions, but I can't pinpoint the exact issue. If my co-workers and I were listed as "in a relationship" on Facebook, we would be described "It's complicated". It wasn't until I took an educational philosophy course a few years ago that Maxine Greene put a name to my lack of popularity. As a poet and an admirer of the arts, she articulates the idea much better, calling it "wide-awakeness". As Greene says,
"I'm very influenced by existentialism and the thought that you can be submerged in the crowd, and if you're submerged in the crowd and have no opportunity to think for yourself, to look through your own eyes, life is dull and flat and boring. The only way to really awaken to life, awaken to the possibilities, is to be self-aware... I use the term wide-awakeness.Without the ability to think about yourself, to reflect on your life, there's really no awareness, no consciousness. Consciousness doesn't come automatically; it comes through being alive, awake, curious, and often furious."
Maybe there's nothing more scary than encountering someone who is already wide-awake (or at least attempting to become wide-awake). It makes a person realize they have blindly wandered through life and missed the point completely and it terrifies the person who'd prefer to hit the snooze button for the rest of their career and lifetime.
I strive to be "wide-awake" everyday. I choose to acknowledge the deficits in our system and my own school. I question my own abilities and choices. I challenge my own conceptions of what my students can do and what the role of public education can be for society. I make a lot of mistakes and hold myself accountable. I hold myself and my colleagues to the highest possible standard and always wonder if we are doing enough, trying hard enough, asking enough of ourselves.
I refuse not to be wide-awake. I will not apologize for expecting more. It may make me unpopular, but I accept that. I hope that my niece realizes someday that doctors cure diseases and help the healthy stay healthy. I hope she figures out that the police put themselves in harm's way to protect others. I hope my colleagues realize that I push them because I know they (and I) can be better than we are right now.
Maybe there's nothing more scary than encountering someone who is already wide-awake (or at least attempting to become wide-awake). It makes a person realize they have blindly wandered through life and missed the point completely and it terrifies the person who'd prefer to hit the snooze button for the rest of their career and lifetime.
I strive to be "wide-awake" everyday. I choose to acknowledge the deficits in our system and my own school. I question my own abilities and choices. I challenge my own conceptions of what my students can do and what the role of public education can be for society. I make a lot of mistakes and hold myself accountable. I hold myself and my colleagues to the highest possible standard and always wonder if we are doing enough, trying hard enough, asking enough of ourselves.
I refuse not to be wide-awake. I will not apologize for expecting more. It may make me unpopular, but I accept that. I hope that my niece realizes someday that doctors cure diseases and help the healthy stay healthy. I hope she figures out that the police put themselves in harm's way to protect others. I hope my colleagues realize that I push them because I know they (and I) can be better than we are right now.
Maxine Greene famously said "I am what I am not yet." This is a hopeful statement. I hope what I am not yet is better than what I am. I hope what WE are not yet is better than what we are.
No comments:
Post a Comment