I have to admit: When I first started teaching, nothing scared me more than parents.
When you are 21, fresh out of college, and in your first classroom, you know how little you know and you spend 90% of your time trying to hide it. I used to think to myself all the time my first year of teaching, "If my child is ever in the classroom of a first year teacher, I will do whatever it takes to get them out. Their whole year will be wasted." When I think back on that year, I can't believe every single parent didn't call the school to get their kids removed from my care.
It's not that I was abusive or mean or (completely) scattered... it's just that there were so many who were BETTER than me! I tried things and failed 3 or 4 times a week, even day. Who would want that for their child?
Recently I was speaking to a friend whose husband is in med.school. I asked her, do they tell the patients that they are not doctors, but doctors in training before they help with a diagnosis or even a surgery? Her response: The patients don't even notice or ask.
This really took me aback! They didn't notice?! How could they not? This person had very limited experience outside of a classroom, a book, or an observation. How could they not tell the difference between a seasoned veteran mentor and a young, naive intern?
Maybe it's the lab coat. Teachers don't wear lab coats, but let's face it, we can be spotted from 4 miles away when we head to the grocery store after work still wearing our "crazy socks" from Spirit Day. We have chalk dust or markers coating us. We give "the look" to innocent children in Walmart. We LOOK like teachers, so maybe parents don't notice new teachers anymore than patients notice interns.
I'm not afraid of parents anymore. Not even a little. I don't get that sick feeling when I'm paged from the office with a call and I don't have nervous dreams the night before the parent workshops I host as part of my position as a gifted resource teacher. I imagined the worst from these parents, but have been pleasantly surprised how a forging a relationship with the parents has truly improved my interactions with their children.
For example, yesterday a parent explained how useful rubrics are to her family. Her son tends to go completely overboard on projects, but having a rubric to break down criteria is helpful for him because parents and child know what the teacher expects.
Another parent shared her child's obsession with Taylor Swift. In a discussion about helping gifted children deal with failure, she decided to do some research about Taylor Swift and find out some difficulties she needed to overcome to get to where she is today. Upon sharing that, some other parents decided to do the same using athletes their children look up to as well.
A very knowledgeable and caring parent also shared how anxious she finds her child gets when asked "why" questions. She suspects he thinks the asker knows "why" and expects him to come up with the correct answer. Even if he MIGHT know, his fear of being wrong keeps him from answering the question. Instead, she tries to rephrase her "why" questions with "What do you think about..." to help him take the risk to answer a difficult question. I used this technique with him in the classroom today and was shocked by the sophistication of his response when I might previously have gotten a blank stare.
These parents KNOW their kids! They know them well, much better than I can in two 45 minute sessions a week. Their insight proves to be invaluable time and time again. Conversely, when all their children will say when asked about school is "It was fine." or "I don't know.", substantial conversations with someone from the school can be enlightening for parents as well.
In the words of Macaulay Calkin: "I'm not afraid anymore!"
No comments:
Post a Comment